Weathered black lace concealed those on the floor
One sat half-full right near the base of the door
I saw up close when I tripped on your heels
The cheap malt liquor gleam of dark-rusted steel
While you smoked in the bath I decided to count
Seven in total, mostly empty, scattered around
I thought of the guy who peed in bottles all day
Forced by depression into a bed to decay
Of course, it was then when you called out my name.
Both you and the moon rested bare against the tub
Despite your being drunk, under the night’s tint of plum
Your burnt sienna glow ignited a mammalian pursuit
So I chose not to bring up the guy with the urine-filled room
I never became one of those sad empty bottles
Tossed aside once my innards had been swallowed
And I never recognized the same desperate devotion
In your inebriate quest to annihilate emotions
How it paralleled the years I spent in love with you--
Just waiting, and hoping.
***
It said less about you and much more about me
When you chose the guy who stayed in bed to pee
Was I just held up to a higher level of esteem?
Or so low you’d rather wake up next to urine than me?
The night I saw the collection of glass in your room
Was the first time I ever saw clear the entirety of you
You won’t remember it being the last you saw of me
Or how I brought a blanket over and you whispered: “I’m sorry.”
An apology so late you wish you’d not heard it
Forgiveness took its time with us
But we both deserved it
I hope you no longer wake up
Next to empty bottles on the floor
And instead with a wonderful person
Whom you can fully adore, and
The hollowness within
Fills with the love you ask for
By a compassionate partner and friend
You’re worthy of this, and much more.
Contextual Commentary by the Poet
Unrequited love hurts. Especially when the person you love can't even love themselves.
Related Reading
This exploration of crossed-out identity examines the tension between being seen and being understood. If this poem's visual and emotional complexity resonated with you, explore these connected works:
• "Boundaries" – Continues the examination of what happens when we feel fundamentally misunderstood by those who claimed to know us.
• "It's Hard" – Offers perspective on why being truly known can be so difficult for both parties in a relationship.
• "Tell For Me" – Provides an interesting counterpoint about the selective truths we choose to reveal versus what remains hidden.
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