I Put the "Style" in Attachment Style

Everyone's an expert now;

On why they love the way they do;

Condemning the Anxious and/or Avoidant;

Like confetti at their own review.

Most are self-diagnosed, of course;

In lieu of reading “the book” some self-analyze by phone;

They find meaning in the predetermined patterns;

Reciting pop-psyche phraseology as their own.

Yes, there's truth in understanding;

How childhood shapes our ways;

But parroting platitudes as a crutch;

Doesn't make the trauma fade.

We're all just trying to sort ourselves;

Into boxes neat and clean;

As if humans could be catalogued;

Like posts in a Pinterest stream.

Call me a fearful-preoccupied-avoidant;

Or whatever helps you sleep;

But knowing what to call your walls;

Doesn't help you learn to leap.

So, hold your attachment style close;

Else the mind’s nuance be exposed;

And beyond what any label can connote;

Are worlds more than Bowlby even knows.

***

Contextual Commentary by the Poet

Look, this one's pretty simple. I was annoyed by the people who use their newfound identities within modern attachment theory to feign self-awareness while avoiding critical self-work. Just because you now know yourself to be an "anxious avoidant" doesn't make it okay for you to treat people badly. And not that all anxious avoidants do treat people badly. It's those who use pop psychology as a crutch to deflect criticism of their behavior. That's all.